


Stormcloak Rebellion- A Tale

by stopstealingmysweetrolls



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 12:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1018801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopstealingmysweetrolls/pseuds/stopstealingmysweetrolls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fic involves Ulfric Stormcloak, Bob-potato, chihuahuas (pronounced chi-hooa-hooas), soggy boiled cabbages and really isn't worth any form of close examination or sane thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stormcloak Rebellion- A Tale

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this fic seriously because wow we wrote it ages ago and it was recently rediscovered we laughed for about 8 years.
> 
> Anyway this fic just kinda ends and has no real plot or anything but its still pretty great just use your imagination and think of an ending. Probably one where Ulfric and Bob die in a horrific potato accident but yeah just let your imagination run wild.

Ulfric sat in earnest at the dining table eagerly awaiting supper. Tonight, the great leader of the Stormcloaks was dining alone, as he was about to enjoy one of the most extravagant meals had by anyone in all of Tamriel ever. He gasped as the chef and his entourage entered carrying golden platters and was almost overcome with excitement. The head chef gently placed the biggest platter directly in front of the Jarl and slowly lifted the lid. Jarl Ulfric almost peed with excitement because there in front of him was the rarest and most delicious delicacy known in all of Tamriel- deep fried chihuahua. Ulfric quickly ordered the chef and his minions away, wanting nothing more than to be alone with his dinner. As soon as the last servant was out the door, the Jarl let out a small shriek. He wanted to hug them. All of them. There were no less than 4 deep fried chihuahuas on his plate and Ulfric had decided that he loved all of them. He stopped and scolded himself.  
“No Ulfric”, he thought, “das gay”.

1 HOUR LATER

Ulfric was content. The deep fried chihuahuas were better than he could have ever imagined, and now all he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and sleep. Just as he got up to leave, a familiar whining voice echoed throughout the Blue Palace.  
“Father!”, the whinging voice cried.  
Ulfric groaned out loud. Bob-Potato, his bratty son had decided to pay his father a visit.  
“Fucking Bob-Potato”, Ulfric hissed, “Can you fucking not”.  
Bob-Potato swaggered into the room, flicked his scarf over his shoulder and pouted theatrically.  
“Father”, he whined as Ulfric glared at him, “it's like 7 o'clock and I haven't had dinner”  
“Ugh I'll have someone bring you something ok just go away”  
“But father!”  
“Go to fucking bed god fucking help me you little shit!”, bellowed Ulfric as he swept out of the room.

Bob-Potato frowned intensely as he sat eating the boiled cabbages that had been sent up to his room.  
“Where is the fucking potato in this shit do they not know that I have to have potato with every meal?”, he thought with extreme angst.  
“Oi!”, he cried to the nearest servant, “Get me some fucking potatoes or so help me”  
Bob-Potato lobbed the soggy cabbage at the wall in anger. He was the Jarl's son, and his needs must be met! Several minutes passed and he wondered what was taking so long. The door creaked open and to Bob-Potato's surprise, in strode Ulfric, his face contorted with anger.  
“Bob-Potato!”, he thundered, “What have I told you about being an annoying little shit!”  
Bob-Potato stammered. What was the meaning of this? Not even the Jarl himself had the right to deny him the right to his beloved potatoes.


End file.
